I am not even kidding you...

Have you ever felt like you were on one of those candid camera shows? I'm walking down the aisle at the grocery store today and saw something that first made me think I was being caught on camera to see what my reaction was, and then made me wish I had a better camera on my phone...

There was this nasty guy walking in front of me who looked like he needed a good shower and shave, as well as a new pair of pants. His pockets weren't quite attached. No, that's not exactly painting the right picture... the fabric to which his pockets were attached was not attached to the rest of the jeans. Leaving gaping holes in the arena of the buttocks.

It gets better.

HE WAS GOING COMMANDO.

Yep. He bent over to pick up some microwave popcorn and I got an eyeful of crack. Don't ask me why I was looking. It was a train wreck people. I was just trying to wrap my arms around what I was witnessing when BOOM, he bent over. How unfortunate for me.

I nonchalantly continued on my way trying not to bust out in laughter -- just in case the cameras were in fact rolling. But once I got around the corner and didn't see John Quinones and his camera crew, I lost it.

I know a picture is worth a thousand words... So if Jarad asks anyone what I want for my birthday this year, please mention that I'd like an iPhone so I can capture these choice moments to share with all of you.